uniquelyallie: (csi miami)
I didn't watch the season finale tonight, but did catch the commercials/previews where it looked like H had assumed the I-Just-Got-Shot position. (I assumed he either got shot or collapsed, unable to withstand the bad acting from his portrayer).

Turns out, he did indeed get shot.

The best comment from the CSI Miami community is from [livejournal.com profile] quinatorte:

Yay!

I mean, sure, Horatio will probably live because the writers hate me, but I'd love to send chocolates and flowers to whoever shot his ass... fictional though they (and Horatio) may be.
uniquelyallie: (csi miami)
I think I saw a CSI: Miami episode I actually *liked*.

First, some back story:

During one of Jeff's visits earlier this year, we were channel surfing and came across an episode of CSI: Miami one Sunday night. (One of the local stations airs repeats on Saturday and Sunday nights; a Dayton station also airs a repeat on Sundays). It was the first time I had watched the show, and it was just funny... thanks to David Caruso's fine acting abilities. *snark*

(Seriously, Horatio Caine is like Master of the Obvious during investigations. Like I caught an episode last week on A&E where the victim was electrocuted in her bathtub during a party. H and Frank were checking out the dead body in the bathtub, where H says to Frank matter-of-factly, "It appears... she electrocuted herself during her party." To which I said, "No shit, you think?" I mean, come on, there's a dead body in the bathtub, and I'm sure H got word from someone that they found the dead body during the party.)

As we were watching, I said, "I wonder if there's a David Caruso drinking game."

Jeff found one.

Prior to the move, I tried to play the game at least once a week. Since living with the parents, I can't--and I'm sure my liver appreciates it because A&E has CSI: Miami marathons every Wednesday night.

Last night, I go into the living room to visit with Mom. She's flipping through the channels, and comes across CSI: Miami. She couldn't find anything else to watch, so she turned it back for me since she knows I watch it for the Train Wreck That Is Caruso.

But... this episode... it got a "huh" out of me at the end.

I don't know the whole story of the Bad Guy (herein referred to as Baddie), but it seems he co-owned a company, and staged some murder to prevent an acquisition of said company. Baddie was baddie, too. Suave, smirky black guy. He oozed baddie; like he knew there was no way he could be touched.

Tom Sizemore played some private investigator hired by Baddie, who was this week's Thorn in H's Side.

But, turns out, Tom Sizemore was more like a branch shoved firmly in H's side.

He was able to get Calleigh off the case, by providing proof that she compromised the case's evidence. (It had something to do with a web site she ran, something to do with her being kidnapped, and something to do with Eric getting shot).

Calleigh and Eric had a chat about it in the CSI locker room, where they actually displayed believable emotion toward each other. Eric wanted to go tell the truth--that that notes Calleigh claimed were hers were really his, but Calleigh was like, "I'm off the case, but you're not. Go look for new evidence. Go do that."

So Eric found proof on Baddie's jacket that Baddie killed his secretary/receptionist, so him and the other CSI Young'un brings Baddie in. Tom Sizemore is there with Baddie because... not only is Tom Sizemore Baddie's private investigator, but also his lawyer.

Just when Eric and Other CSI Young'un think they can arrest Baddie, Tom Sizemore whips out a pocket voice recorder--about the size of a USB stick drive--and plays a recording of Eric's therapy session. (That has something to do with Eric getting shot). Well, now, because of Eric's mental state (by what he admitted to his therapist, about how sometimes he has trouble remembering what day it is, etc.)... any evidence he collected is questionable, and now he's off the case.

At this point, I'm screaming, "I love Tom Sizemore!"

Why? Because he was bringing H's team down. Seriously, I realized that that is my problem with the show: H's team is too damn perfect. If Eric and Calleigh can't save the day, it's guaranteed that H will at the very last minute. *yawn*

Tom Sizemore was totally gimping that up.

Even at the end, H talked someone who was connected to Baddie to wear a wire, so they could finally get Baddie. Wussy Guy shows up at some restaurant where Tom Sizemore and Baddie were dining. Conversation ensued, and Tom Sizemore knew that this guy was wearing a wire, ripped open Wussy Guy's shirt, and pulled the wire off, then proceeded to have a confessional regarding Baddie. I screamed, "H is so screwed! Yay!"

Seriously, I was hoping that was the case. Tom Sizemore made everything so believable... between him getting Eric and Calleigh off the case, and finding the wire, I honestly didn't know how this was going to end.

But H showed up anyway, to save the day, along with some members of the Miami-Dade P.D. Tom Sizemore was all like, "You've got nothing. I found the wire." H was like, "You didn't find *all* the wires." H then picks up a huge pepper shaker, unscrews it, and there's a bug.

Tom Sizemore and Baddie gets arrested, and I'm screaming, "Noooooooooooooo!"

Meanwhile, Eric and Calleigh are in some office. (I'm thinking it was Tom Sizemore's). Calleigh doesn't want to be there; she just wants to get it over with. Turns out, Eric and Calleigh had to collect CDs. Calleigh picked up one, looked at it, I don't know who the names were, but it had to have been a connection to her because... Eric then picked up a CD with his name on it... then Calleigh picked up another CD with Horatio's name on it.

There's a lingering shot of her staring at H's CD, then we see H standing silhouetted in a symbolic Miami backdrop, complete with setting sun, orangey dusky sky, and palm tree, and then the show ends.

And I was left thinking, "Huh. I may have to buy this episode."

And I actually want to know what's on Horatio's CD.

Dayna told me over at Romance Divas that she thought they were trying to go all dark this season on CSI: Miami, and wasn't sure if Caruso could pull dark off. If they didn't arrest Tom Sizemore at the end, I'm sure Caruso totally could. He would've been a killer nemesis for Horatio.
uniquelyallie: (bundle o' joy)
Another Sunday, another hour spent with H.

Did I get my buzz on? No.

And you would think I would since it was a CSI: Miami/CSI: NY crossover. But even if I could've gotten my buzz on... I would've been laughing too hard to consume anything because CSI: NY seems just as bad as CSI: Miami.

I mean, you want to talk about a spew moment? Try when H and Mac meet for the first time. Oh. My. Gawd.

H had to travel to Manhattan to avenge the deaths of Hot Underage Young'un parents, who were brutally murdered while Hot Underage Young'un was out clubbing, so that meant he got to hook up with Mac.

Their first meet went something like:

H entering homicide scene in Manhattan and rounds the corner of a room, and comes into Mac's line of vision. Mac slowly looks up from his investigating.

Mac: "Can I help you?"
H: "I am Caine. Horatio. Miami. I am investigating a double homicide." (Dude! I am *so* introducing myself like that now. "I am Secrest. Stephanie. Cincinnati.")
Mac introduced himself, but it was just as equally overacted as Caruso, so I didn't catch it because I was... Laughing. My. Ass. Off.

But you know how H ended what he said with: "I am investigating a double homicide?"
Mac ended his intro with: "I am listening." Because the Manhattan murders were the same as the Miami murders, so the writers were being all savvy with the "I am investigating a double homicide" with "I am listening" because it's all about connecting things in your story.

Whatever. I was too busy being crumpled on the floor, hitting it, laughing so damn hard. That intro alone was worth a whole Applebeetini right then and there.

Gary Sinese... I used to like you.

So then, I got all excited... I mean it's a CROSSOVER of two lame shows. You know that's got to be prime opportunity to kill your liver.

Ummm... no.

There are no CSI: NY drinking games whatsoever.

I only found something with three things... something to do with taking a swig whenever they bring in donuts, and whenever they refer to 9/11. Which they *did* throw in a 9/11 reference tonight. Let me tell you... I enjoyed that swig since the H-love was lacking tonight.

At the end... oh gawd... when Mac and H solved the case, and they were taking out the baddies to the cop cars against a sea of reporters... the two shared a meaningful gaze through the reporter mob as they each loaded up their respective baddies.

Mac and H gazed at each longingly. Each offered the other a timid smile. H waved at Mac. Mac waved back. Mac looked away briefly, then looked back to where H was standing and... H was... gone... breaking Mac's heart.

Again... I was Laughing. My. Ass. Off. While thinking, "Ooooh, CSI man love! You two go work out that tension!"

But it would never work out between H and Mac because H had to rush back to Miami to get back to the Hot Underage Young'un because he promised he'd avenge her parents' deaths. He said some overacted pickup line like, "The next time you see my face, you will know everything is okay."

Yeah, the next time Hot Underage Young'un saw H was at her parents' funeral, and the two shared a meaningful lusty gaze. She mouthed, "thank you," then turned back to focus on burying her parents, and H was left standing there thinking, "Me no get the underage lovin'? I gave up Mac for you???"

And I'm sorry... the next time anyone criticizes Cold Case for being filmed in that blue tint... watch CSI: NY. Can that show be filmed any darker? I kept thinking, "Jesus, H, get back to Miami where everything is bright and happy."

Totals for tonight:

6 swigs: H placing his arms akimbo

3 sets of 2 swigs: H taking his sunglasses off for dramatic effect

3 sets of 2 swigs: H putting on his sunglasses for dramatic effect

H wore a lighter blazer during the Miami investigation, but donned a dark blazer while in Manhattan. I refrained from taking the three gulps for H wearing the dark blazer since he *was* in Manhattan.
uniquelyallie: (eww)
... the drinking game!

I wrote this last night, but was too buzzed afterwards to post it on my blog, so I'm doing it now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


I tried the CSI: Miami drinking game tonight, for the first time, however, I started at 11:18 p.m. because I was emailing my mom.

Tonight's episode was a let down. I don't remember what it was about. Well, a reporter named Amy got murdered who Horatio knew, and he attempted to do some pining over. Whatever. What sucks--besides David Caruso's overacting--was that I didn't get to drink much.

Drink of choice tonight: Yellow Tail Pinot Noir.
(Which was the bottle I was working on since dinner Saturday night.)

Grand total of swigs: eight.

How pathetic.

I was able to take three swigs (one each time) H places his arms akimbo.

One set of two swigs when H put his sunglasses on for dramatic effect.

One set of three swigs when H wears a dark blazer in the middle of an investigation.

I didn't even pay attention to the show. I just kept screaming, "Akimbo! Akimbo! Sunglasses! Akimbo!"

And then there were scenes that didn't have Caruso in them. What's up with that? Caruso = drinking = Happy Steph. I wanted all Caruso, all the time. (Pains me to say that.)

Crap! Channel 12--at midnight--plays the repeat of the episode on Channel 45--that they played at 11 p.m. I found this out at 12:30 a.m. Crap. This is what I get for checking out Yahoo TV on a whim. Crap. A half hour of binge drinking gone. And it's not as much fun when it's a repeat of a repeat.

I can't believe people thought David Caruso was/is hot. Was he hot in NYPD Blue? This man is not hot. And this show is just so, so bad.

Okay, so I'm doing the Channel 12 repeat of the Channel 45 repeat with a totally different drinking game.

This game can be found here.

You have got to check out that game! Scroll down to the point value where it's mentioned: "If a character uses a computer to magically enhance a blurry image far beyond what is possible = 4 drinks." Because the example they use is FUN-NEE.

I was able to kill my bottle of Pinot Noir since this game allows swigs for extra things like H riding around in his Hummer and pulling out his gun. What sucks is... I had to grab a bottle of over a month old opened bottle of Luna di Luna to continue the game. Which maybe won't be so bad since I am officially buzzed. Although I'm smelling this stuff and it smells nas-tee.

Okay, Caruso just went akimbo, and I took a drink of the Luna di Luna. It's beyond nas-tee. But because I don't believe in alcohol abuse, I will continue to use it for my swigs.

Total for this drinking game:

1 drink = David Caruso removes his sun glasses to emphasize a point.

1 drink = Caine utters some Confucian wisdom, for example, “Tomorrow is what you make of it,” or “Sometimes when you have everything it feels like nothing at all.”: 1 Drink… 5 if you don’t crack up laughing.

(By the time the above happened, I was so buzzed, I couldn't help but to laugh when he offered his "wisdom.")

2 drinks = You see a shot of Caine in his pimped out hummer

2 sets of 3 drinks = You see a shot of Caine jumping out of his hummer, gun in hand

1 drink = Computer generated zoom in to watch a wound unfold on a person in a manner that is in no way gross, nope, not at all

1 drink of wine = If the body count of the entire show ends up being 1 or less

I also used the akimbo point value from the other game, sooooo...

Three drinks = Caruso going akimbo.

Grand total for this game: 15 swigs.

Grand total between the two games: 18 swigs.

And the show still sucks.

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uniquelyallie: (Default)
Allison Kelsey

December 2015

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