As usual, I fell off the Diva radar. I plead job/financial crap and a misplaced (but well meant) focus on trying to start a home bakery. I won’t go into specifics as that’s so 2012. I even started exploring other online homes, figuring that maybe (for some reason) I wasn’t meant to be *here*, but I kept finding myself coming back to RD, skimming threads; or thinking about RD whenever Jason checked his music forum.
I'm *committed* to finding my writing mojo. I had an epiphany at church, of all places The Dec. 29 service at the Vineyard was a look back at 2012. It was more or less what the church did over the year, but the associate pastor (Kande) also talked a bit about her journey/struggle with weight loss and how she fought God on helping her. When the message got a little God-heavy, I started zoning out, but then she talked about others who may be struggling on a journey.
“It may be that you feel like you have a calling or an invitation from God in your life to be an artist or a writer or whatever, and you're scared to death to let other people see your stuff, or you don't know how to take that next step.”
I woke up when she said writer; got teary eyed when she mentioned how you're scared to death. Then Charlie Hines sang "Redeemed," and the lyrics were up on the screen as he sang, and I cried. Like sobbed.
(I'll have to add the video later. My current temp assignment blocks YouTube.)
Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me
‘Son, stop fighting a fight it's already been won’
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed
So after service, we went to Dewey's Pizza for dinner. As we were waiting for a table, I took out my Kindle Fire and posted on Facebook how I was temporarily parking Tricycle Treats for the long term; that I have been and always will be a writer first, and I *have* to get back to doing that. Only this time I need to really *push* myself.